


Dark and Dangerous

by gitanadelsol



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Budding Love, Dragons, Ethical, F/M, Monsters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 05:23:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3756001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gitanadelsol/pseuds/gitanadelsol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Remus Lupin learns of love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dark and Dangerous

Remus Lupin sighed, lowering himself into his seat in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. He dropped his bag onto the floor with a _thunk_ , and looked wistfully at the empty seat beside him. Peter was usually his partner for practicums. He wasn’t a particularly good partner, as he over-thought _everything_ and was prone to anxiety during practicals, but he was Remus’s friend, one of the first he had ever had, and so he regarded Peter with fondness. Unfortunately, Peter had been rushed to the hospital wing after a rather intense double session of Potions with the Slytherins. James and Sirius, who were settling into their own seats at the table adjacent to his, had apologize profusely but maintained that it was not, ultimately, their fault that Victor Burke decided to seek retribution by sabotaging their potion.

They had offered to partner with Remus, especially seeing as they were starting their assignment on dragons that day, but Remus had had to decline. He could only deal with so much trouble-making in one day, so going it alone seemed like a reasonable price to pay.

He was surprised, therefore, when, just as the Defense teacher called for quiet, a figure dropped into the seat beside him. She had long auburn hair, brightly coloured nails, a red-and-gold striped tie folded into the collar of her blouse, and piercing green eyes.

Lily Evans.

“Hi,” she said, a little out of breath, as she began to unpack her supplies.

“Hey,” he replied, still a little surprised that she was sitting beside him.

“You’re late, Evans,” he heard James stage whisper from his left. Lily shot him a long, cold glare before returning her attention to the front of the class. Remus bit back a smile; he knew that James, who was trying in vain to catch Lily’s eye again, was now wishing he had sat alone.

The banging of cabinets and cupboards brought everyone’s attention to the front, and suddenly there were a dozen glass jars soaring above their heads. They swooped and clanked into one another before settling before the students, one on each desk. The jars were quite large – as tall as a man’s forearm – and sealed shut with wax. Sitting in the yellowish liquid, pale and shriveled were-

“Dragons! Cool!”

“Before you,” Professor Romilly instructed over the chatter, “is a dragon fetus. Your task is simple: survive an attack should you ever encounter the dragon, in adult form, before you. There are nine different species in this room, so collaborating with your neighbors won’t help. Draw upon everything you have learned so far in all of your classes. Remember, you too have the option to fight or flight. You begin…now!”

The room was filled with the sound of shuffling papers and the murmurs of students. Remus and Lily immediately set to identifying the specie of their dragon, who was christened Zoe Heriot by Lily. After twenty minutes, Remus rather thought he had it.

“Lily, look at this. I think he – sorry, she, is an English Flat-snout.” Remus scanned the page, mentally noting all the physical characteristics listed. He was no expert, but it seemed too close a match to be incorrect.

“That’s not right,” he heard her murmur, and he looked up, frowning.

“Really? How d’you know? Because I think it matches up pretty well.” He lifted his book, setting it carefully by the specimen so that he could make a side-by-side comparison. His eyes bounced between the drawn representation in the book and the dragon fetus in the jar. It wasn’t an exact match, of course, but close enough that he thought they stood a good chance of getting the maximum amount of points going with this option.

“Lily, I think you should maybe take another look. I mean, obviously, the picture is a lot bigger and more developed than this little guy, but-”

“Remus, this can’t be right,” she said again, giving no sign that she had heard him at all. “She’s got spines on her back.”

Remus looked from the jar to his partner, completely baffled.

“English Flat-snouts _have_ spines on their backs. Look, it says it in the book – “quills filled with poison” – I think this is our dragon!”

“Remus, the quills don’t start growing in until the second week.”

“Yeah, so?”

Her green eyes met his.

“This wasn’t some fetus that stopped growing in the egg. It was a hatchling by the time it was preserved. Remus, Zoe was _born_.” Lily’s hand shot into the air, barely giving him time to register this before flagging Professor Romilly over.

“Professor! Professor Romilly! I think ours is a hatchling!”

“It is entirely possible, Miss Evans,” the witch replied indifferently. But Lily was not placated in the slightest.

“But, Professor, that can’t possibly be right.”

“Why ever not? Let’s take a look, shall we, see what all the fuss is about.” She wove between the desks, coming to a halt before Remus and Lily. She reached into her pocket to produce a pair of glittering spectacles and placed them on the bridge of her nose before bending down to peer at the little dragon in the jar.

“Ah, yes, I think you’re right. Look here, right along the back, you can clearly see the dorsal quills – make note of that, as it’ll help you identify what specie of dragon this is. Hm…yes, yes definitely a hatchling…14 to 18 days old, I’d say.”

“Was it, by any chance, already dead?” Lily asked evenly. Professor Romilly laughed.

“Heavens, no! A dead hatchling would be very rare. Most female dragons will eat the runt or sickly hatchlings early on, within the first day or so. Goodness, did you think we only preserved the dead or dying dragons? We would never have any young ones now, would we?”

“So,” Lily pressed. “You…what? Magically euthanize them?”

“Not quite. I’m not quite certain how they obtain the young – female dragons are _very_ protective of their young, so that would take quite a bit of creativity. But there’s a potion that, when the vapor is inhaled, slows down the cardiovascular functions, until finally it just stops. It allows enough time for the excavatist to return the animal back to his laboratory for prepping and what have you. It works a lot like Muggle potassium-chloride injections – I don’t know if you know what that is.”

Lily went rigid for a moment. Her mouth was open, her eyes wide, and her facial expressions were rapidly progressing from shock to horror to outrage.

“That’s completely barbaric!”

Remus glanced up at his partner, startled. Normally, Lily Evans was very kind and even-tempered, especially when speaking to a professor. She was anything but even-tempered now, with her furrowed brows and trembling hands, curled into fists under the table. Professor Romilly paused, noting, possibly for the first time, that the series of questions about the process of preserving organisms held more than just wide-eyed curiosity. Her eyes narrowed, and she fingered her spectacles.

“Miss Evans, I assure you that these specimens were harvested by well-seasoned professions. It was all done in the most humane methods possible, keeping in strict adherence to the regulations set forth by the-”

“I hardly see how a case can be made for the humanity and morality in killing a baby!”

Professor Romilly pursed her lips, and when she spoke, it was with a strained tone, as though with waning patience.

“Collecting and preserving specimens, Miss Evans, is the most effective way to study a creature without putting a wizard into harm’s way. We gather as any facts as possible from laboratorial observations, and then we proceed to further field work. It also makes for a wonderful learning tool, as you can see.”

“Oh, I see,” Lily said with such sarcasm that it was painfully clear that she did not, in fact, see at all. “So long as we’re handing them out to schools, it’s all okay. Why don’t we put babies in a jar so we can learn about human anatomy?”

“I don’t expect a 14-year-old girl,” Professor Romilly said coldly. “To understand the ethical guidelines and procedures that goes into such a process.”

“And I don’t expect you to give a decent explanation for how killing a defenseless baby for the sake of shocking 14-year-olds is at all ethical.”

There was a thick silence as Lily and Professor Romilly glared at each other. The rest of the class was staring at them, students twisting around in their seats for a better view. Mary McDonald even had her mouth open in shock. Remus could feel the tension solidifying in the air and ruefully remembered his decision not to partner up with Sirius and James.

“Are you going to have difficulty completing this assignment, Miss Evans?”

Lily hesitated, clearly torn between returning to the argument of ethics and showing respect for a teacher. Eventually, she grudgingly replied, “No.”

“Good. Then I suggest you get back to it.” Professor Romilly did not wait for a reply before returning to her desk at the head of the class, decidedly ending the conversation. Remus let out a breath he had not realized he had been holding when she gazed back up in their direction.

“And twenty points from Gryffindor.”

Lily flushed, and Remus could practically feel her indignation crackling in the air around her. He laid a firm hand on her arm when she opened her mouth to make a retort.

“Let it go, Lily,” he murmured. She rounded on him, hair whipping around her head.

“That was completely unfair! _Twenty_ points?” she hissed.

“I know, I know, but you aren’t going to make it any better. Let it go,” he repeated.

She was still bristling, but bent her head over her text book and followed Remus’s finger when he began pointing out certain capabilities that would be important to know when coming face-to-face with their dragon. Thinking it best to brainstorm different spells, charms, and jinxes that would provide protection or repel the dragon, Remus began making a list of all the possibilities he could think of. When he felt that Lily had calmed down enough (and when he was sure Professor Romilly was busy with the pair of Hufflepuff boys in the front), he raised his question.

“What’s your deal, anyway?” Remus asked curiously. “It’s just a dragon.”

Lily shot him a strange look, and Remus winced, expecting a verbal lashing. Her mouth fell more firmly into a frown, but she didn’t say a word. She flipped a few pages of the book, jotting something down here and there, looking up at intervals to turn the jar and closely inspect their specimen. She was quiet for so long that Remus thought she must be purposefully ignoring the question. He was just about to change the topic when she stopped scribbling and looked at him.

“‘It’s just a dragon’ is the same kind of thinking that lets people ignore all the Muggle murders that have been happening recently,” she said quietly.

“ _What_?” Whatever he had been expecting, this was definitely not it. “Lily, there’s no comparison between the two at all. The Muggle murders are all political.”

“We _think_ they are political,” she corrected. “But we cannot know because no one is making a case; no one is following through to find out who did it. The Ministry is writing it all off, only putting a minimal number of Patrol wizards on the case, when, quite frankly, the Aurors should be called in. We know that these deaths were caused by magical means – Dark magical means.”

“I thought you said we couldn’t know because the Ministry wasn’t making a case of it.”

She gave him a scathing look that told him his cheek was not appreciated.

“Just because the _Prophet_ isn’t reporting it, doesn’t mean the Muggle papers aren’t. Eight different incidents during Easter holiday – all across Britain, no signs of struggle, no evidence for cause of death. But the wizarding community does nothing. They just ignore it because,” she raised her hands in the air, two fingers pulled up on each, “‘it’s just a Muggle.’”

“That’s different,” Remus said quickly, recognizing his own choice of words being thrown back into his face. “Muggles are people; they’re _human_. Dragons are, well…”

“Not?” Lily supplied. “So only creatures that are human deserve protection and rights? Everyone one else can be regulated by us?”

Remus frowned, mulling over her words before forming his answer. He was sure she was setting him up to be torn down, but he couldn’t see how.

“They’re animals, Lily. They can’t live in a society like us.”

She wasted no time in countering him.

“Then what about humanoid species? What about,” she made to use air quotes again, “‘half-breeds’? Or inflicted humans, like werewolves and vampires. Do they not deserve rights, then?”

Remus dropped his gaze, feeling uncomfortable. Did they deserve rights? It was a question that kept him up late into the night on several occasions. He thought they did. But he knew the dangers, more than even Lily Evans could imagine. He knew the threat they posed to others, to a society, to the greater good. Sometimes, especially on the more painful nights, he would doubt the goodness he’s received, felt unworthy of walking amongst the other students, amongst other wizards that would one day grow up to do great things. What greatness could he do? There was a nasty secret he was harboring, as much a part of him as his gangly physique and green eyes. However normal he may appear or try to act, he was Dark, he was dangerous; he was a monster.

Did monsters deserve rights?

“I didn’t say that,” he said quietly. He avoided her gaze, looking down at his quill rather than at her. “Of course half-breeds deserve rights, as well as anyone else who can think and can function in society. But…I mean, these things are dangerous, Lily. They’ll kill you, if you let them.”

“You could make that same argument for werewolves and vampires – even some wizards. Who did Zoe kill?” Lily demanded. When Remus didn’t answer, she shook her head.

“I’m not saying that dragons aren’t dangerous, or that Zoe wouldn’t have ended up a really tough predator. But you can’t expect an animal to go against nature, and using _that_ to try and justify some terrible act you did is not right. Dragons shouldn’t be kept as pets, but they shouldn’t be hunted or harvested prematurely just because they are big enough to be dangerous to _us_.”

“So you don’t think dragons are Dark?” Remus asked quietly. It was Lily’s turn to pause, to think over her answer before voicing it.

“I think labeling an entire species as Dark and condemning all the members is a ridiculous. I think expecting a creature go against its nature and getting upset when it doesn’t is ridiculous. And I think using this label of ‘Dark and dangerous’ to justify a truly immoral and unethical act is wrong – plain wrong.” She reached forward to finger the jar, tracing the dragon head. “Zoe was just a baby; she didn’t kill anyone. You can’t condemn someone for something they never did. If you ask me, we’re the Dark ones.”

Lily shrugged, then re-inked her quill and returned to taking notes. Remus turned his gaze back to his own parchment, but his thoughts just couldn’t focus on the task at hand. He was mulling over her words, replaying them over and over in his mind. _You can’t condemn someone for something they never did._ Did she mean that? It sounded like she did. Could he believe it? He wanted to, desperately. He had believed, all his life, that he was a monster, that he was something to be locked away, isolated from normal wizards because of what he was, because of the danger he posed. But to hear Lily talk of it, he wasn’t as Dark and dangerous as society had made him feel. What other wizards felt for him – indeed, what he felt for himself – was misplaced, prejudged, and wholly unjust, much like sentencing a man without a trial. What evil deed had he committed? What malignant traits did he possess? What harm had he ever wished upon anyone? The answer, he realized, was none.

And maybe, just maybe, that meant he wasn’t a monster at all.

He didn’t realize he was looking at her until her green eyes met his, and she smiled.

“Hey, you okay?”

He blinked.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, clearing his throat. He was trying to ignore the flush rising to his cheeks. “I was just…thinking…of what you said, I mean.”

Just then, Professor Romilly called for the end of class. There was a scraping of chairs and Remus was very thankful for the excuse to look away from Lily.

“I think we got really far along,” Lily said, stuffing her book into her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. “I rather enjoyed this assignment, even if…” She tossed a glance over her shoulder to Professor Romilly.

“Yeah, I get it. See you next class, then?”

“Definitely,” she said, and smiled warmly at him. In that instant, that one gesture, his view of her shifted. There were tingles on his skin and a funny-sort of warmth melting his insides. He smiled back at her and watched her walk away. With a new-found energy, he began packing up his own things.

James complained the whole way back to Gryffindor common room, scowling enviously at Remus. Remus felt his stomach churn, guilt suddenly battling the warm, fuzzy feeling, sniffing out and noting all the evidence of betrayal. James had liked Lily for ages, and James was his friend. He deserved Lily, didn’t he?

But Lily had never smiled at James the way she had smiled at him and, with a little skip of his heart, the warm, fuzzy feeling shoved the guilt out of the way.

He couldn’t wait for their next Defense class.

 


End file.
